


I'll find my way back to you

by Blue_Jayy



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Levi and Eren are in love, Lovers who can't be together, M/M, Mainly Levi and Eren centric, One Shot, Porn with Feelings, Smut and Angst, epilogue is up now, hella angst, wont spoil the ending in these tags tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2019-09-20 12:18:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17022495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Jayy/pseuds/Blue_Jayy
Summary: Showing up to his Ex's engagement party in the first place was a recipe for disaster. He didn't know what had gotten into him, he just knew that walking away from him, shouldn't have been as hard as it was.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Massive Massive angst I almost cried while writing this Lmao! I love this story, I made it raw with feelings and it's very angsty very feely. I love you guys! thank you so much for your support and please enjoy! As always constructive criticism is very very appreciated I am always looking for a way to improve!

  
  


Seeing my old lover stand so close yet so far across from me caused a bloom of feeling in my chest. I couldn’t decipher if those feelings were good or bad, i didn't want to either. His hand was held snugly in the hand of his fiance. His fiance looked like a cocky son of a bitch with a long face. Kinda like a horse. I smirked at the thought and turned my attention back to the beautiful face of my ex. 

His beautiful sun-kissed skin stood out in contrast from the people around him. He wore a white button up(completely not his style) and tight dress pants that left barely anything to the imagination. His moppy brown hair sat messy on his head as always. I don't know how many times I've run my hands through his hair, telling him to take better care of it. Of course, the stubborn mule didn't heed my advice.

Fucking brat

My own fiance knocked into me playfully knocking me out of my thoughts. I pushed back, smirking in the process. I turned to look into Erwin’s deep blue eyes knowing I'd never feel the love I felt for Eren in him. I kissed him on the lips and looked away quickly. I felt regret for doing this to him, however, the guilt pooling in my chest did not deter me from my goal. One of Erwin’s friends, Mike I think was his name, came up to him and initiated a conversation that I immediately had no interest in.

I cleared my throat and pulled Erwin down to tell him that I was going to say hi to an old friend. He simply nodded and brushed me off, returning to his conversation about his business. I rolled my eyes at that and thought about my route to the refreshments table.

I nodded at familiar faces and greeted Petra who lit up at my presence, “Levi! You're here!” She wrapped her arms around me, and even if I wasn't particularly fond of physical contact I accepted the hug,

“Hey, Petra.” She smiled brightly at me and went back to her boyfriend's side. Oluo’s bitch face made me cringe as I realized that he still liked to mimic me. He was lucky Petra was in love with him or I would have knocked him out by now.

   I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and simply pushed past him to grab a much-needed beer. Eld greeted me by simply patting shoulder and I nodded at him. Gunther wasn't too far as he came up to us to greet us as well.

“How are you doing you old bastard?” Eld’s laugh was a booming noise, he smacked Gunther on the back,

“I’m doing good, better than you ever will.” Gunther scoffed at that and smiled at Eld. I smiled a little myself, I missed my family. I hadn't seen these bastards in ages. They were the only ones who stuck by my side for the past 10 years.

Oluo clicked his tongue and I glared at the fucker. Gunther chuckled and smacked Oluo on the back, which brought me some satisfaction when Oluo grunted,

“Damn Oluo, still trying to be Levi? It was only cute in high school.” Even I joined in snickering with Eld and Gunther. Oluo glared at us and my eye twitched. I glared right back and he shrank.

The Ackerglare wins every time

“So Levi, how's it going with your business project?” I sighed at Petra’s question.

“It’s going pretty well, I managed to snag a lot of clients and I have a potential investor.” I took a sip of my beer,

“You were always good with numbers, congratulations Levi.” I nodded at her and turned away from them signaling that I didn’t want to talk anymore. They were laughing along with something Eld said. I was completely uninterested. I gulped down half of my beer greedily, I hoped to get shitfaced by the end of the night. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel the looming weight on my chest….. Or the pain in my heart.

I shook my head of the thoughts. No focus on your fucking objective. I just wished that I knew that it was going to be this hard. Looks like I'm gonna have to do what I do every night at my apartment. Wallow in self-pity. The thought caused me to snort. I finished the last drop of my beer, quickly tossing it in the bin next to the table. I was playing a dangerous game but I really didn’t give a fuck. I grabbed another and gulped it down almost too quickly.

Eld began to notice so I took my time with my third one. Only Petra knows of my ‘situation’. I wanted to keep it like that. My eyes wandered around the house and grimaced at the choice of colors for the walls. The house was full of people, especially in the backyard where I was currently at. I wasn’t surprised, the brat was always a fucking extrovert. Speaking of which…..

I gulped down the entire thing and grabbed another beer. Feelings fucking suck. They only got you heartbroken or killed. My eyes almost naturally went back to him. He was still standing in the same spot but his fiance was nowhere to be seen. I saw my chance to talk to him but what good would that do. I just wanted this to be as painless as possible. For his sake and mine. I don't even know why I came today. Oh yeah. Shitty Erwin was business partners with my ex’s fiance.

I chuckled humorlessly at that. Fate was a bitch. I looked up at the night sky as I finished up my beer. The moon was beautiful, the stars made the sky luminous and it felt comforting. I played with my engagement ring before finally pulling it off and putting it in my pocket. The warm night air made me feel better about myself even as I grabbed another beer. I finished half of it before Gunther grabbed my shoulder,

“Hey Levi, I think you should take it easy.” He was worried about me. How cute. I brushed him off,

“I’m fine. Just focus on your conversation I’m gonna go take a piss.” Gunther nodded at me but the little wrinkles between his eyebrows told me he didn’t believe me. As I turned to go into the house I saw Eren in the same spot next to a table and a tree. However, this time he wasn’t smiling. He looked pretty fucking mad actually, the best part, it was directed towards his fiance. They spoke in hushed whispers while horse face looked at Eren incredulously. Eren had his jaw clenched and his beautiful eyes were gleaming with anger.

Horse face tried to hug Eren but Eren wasn’t having any of it. Horseface looked hurt but it quickly switched to anger. He used his hands in a ‘whatever’ gesture and walked away. Eren had his hands clenched and his eyes closed. Luckily the tree blocked out their fight from the crowd so no one really saw the whole argument. Eren ran inside the house and maybe it was the beer, maybe it was my heart but whatever it was it made the decision for me.

I followed him.

I threw the empty bottle in the bin before running in. I followed the fucker up the stairs and to a couple of hallways. He ran into a bedroom and I followed him quickly. My shoes squeaked loudly on the hardwood floor so I can only assume that he’s heard me. My heart was pounding as I walked into a well-organized bedroom. The door to the bathroom was closed and the lights were on. I walked in without knocking to see Eren gripping the side of the sink and his eyes clenched shut. The white button up he had on was crumpled and his head was down.

“Eren?” He immediately snapped his eyes open and directed his passion towards me.

Beautiful.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” I smirked at that.

“To get shitfaced with free alcohol what else?” He smiled at that. His tears subsided and he took in a deep breath.

“Are you okay?” I couldn’t help the worry in my heart.

Eren laughed humorlessly as he stared at the mirror, “Why the fuck do you care?”

I probably should’ve just walked out, walked away and maybe everything would’ve been okay. But the beer in my system and the loneliness in my heart won. I went over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist, tucking my chin into his neck,

“You’re the only one I’ve ever truly given a fuck about,” a tear slipped out and his hands gently laid on mine. His scent was intoxicating, cologne mixed with Eren’s scent of rain and the ocean. The thump of the music outside and our loud breaths was the only thing that filled the silence. Selfish stop being so fucking selfish. I wanted to walk away so bad, i couldn't hurt him anymore.

“Oh yeah? The why’d you leave?”His eyes held challenge and I knew he wasn’t about to back down.

“I am a very bad man Eren,” He shivered at my words.

"I don't care."

 How could I resist him? His scent, the way his body so fit perfectly against mine, his warm hands sitting on top of mine. I didn’t see his engagement ring on his left hand which for some reason, filled me with happiness. Our eyes met in the mirror and it was like an an energy passed between us. He suddenly turned around and crashed his lips to mine. The sweet taste of strawberry lingered on his tongue. It was delightful. I pushed him into the counter and he obeyed very fast. We both knew what we wanted no  _ needed  _ in this very moment.

“Your shirt. Off.” I unbuttoned my own shirt and his shaky hands fell to his button up. Fuck why is he taking so long? I growled at him and ripped his shirt open. The buttons scattered all over the floor and he gasped. I quickly kissed him, keeping him from making any comments. He dug his hands into my hair, pulling at the strands. My cock quickly became hard and I grinded against his thigh.

He moaned into my mouth, I separated myself from him to pull off his shoes and pants. He, with no complaint, simply allowed me to remove his clothes. His eyes were glazed with lust and he was biting his lip. God, he looked so fucking delectable like this. I yanked his pants off, leaving him in only his boxer briefs.

His cock was already hard, he panted loudly as I dropped to my knees. I kissed him through his boxer briefs and he sighed in relief. We really shouldn't be doing this while our fiances were downstairs and anyone could really walk in at any time.

This however only excited me more.

I pulled down his underwear enough for his cock to spring out. I immediately took him into my mouth. I welcomed the taste of precum into my mouth and i swirled my tongue around the tip. I relaxed my jaw as i deep throated his cock, taking deep breaths through my nose. He knew I wasn’t in the mood for teasing. He moaned loudly and dug my nails into his thigh as a warning. He understood me and immediately bit into his hand to muffle his sounds. His hand found its way into my hair and he pulled harshly. I moaned and he shuddered.

I continued to bob my head up and down while continuously teasing the tip. His abs began to clench and i knew he was about to cum. I immediately let go of his cock with a loud, lewd pop. He growled at me and i smirked at him. My own cock was painfully hard, leaking precum into my own boxerbirefs creating an uncomfortable wet feeling. I released my cock from it's confines and i sighed. I yanked Eren off the counter and turned him around. I bent him over the counter and grabbed his hips tightly.

“Lube.” He quickly fumbled through a drawer next to him and pulled out a purple colored bottle. I quickly took it and poured out a generous amount. I thrust my finger into him and he pushed against me. I inserted the second and i could immediately tell he was uncomfortable by the way he sucked in a breath. I scissored my fingers inside of him gently and kiss his neck to distract him. Once he relaxed around my fingers, i inserted the third and he started to moan louder. I immediately began looking for his prostate and when my fingers brushed against it he cried out.

“Im gonna stab you,” Eren choked out his words as I massaged his prostate. He finally spoke and i smiled at him, even though he couldn’t see me. The urgency i had to finish up quickly had me aligning my cock against his opening.

“Sure you are,” I  thrusted hard and sheathed myself completely inside of him. He bit into his hand and screamed, I groaned a low moan at the heat and tightness enveloping me. I began to rock my hips back and forth allowing him to get used to me. I gripped his hips harder as I slowly rocked into him.

“How about you actually put some effort into it you fucking asshole,” I chuckled darkly and tilted my hips to thrust right into his sweet spot. He cried out and I thanked god that he had chosen the bathroom farthest away from the crowd. I began a hard fast pace as I pounded into him mercilessly. I pulled his arms behind his back to keep him from muting himself. I wanted to hear every little sound that came out of his mouth.

Erens sweet moans filled my ears, and they were fucking amazing. I missed this, his body close to mine, his sweet voice, his wanton moans. The buildup of heat in my gut made me slow down, wanting to savor the moment of the last time i’d ever fuck the love of my life. I grabbed Eren's hand from his back and held it tightly. I panted harshly as i maintained my pace. He gripped my hand as well and cried out my name. I stopped my movements not wanting to cum so soon. I wanted to make this last,

I  _ needed _ to make this last,

Erens whine sounded sweet to me. He pushed against me, making me smile widely. I turned him around and looked him in his eyes. I brought my lips down to his own and kissed him gently. He suddenly wrapped himself around me and looked at me with teary eyes,

“I love you Levi,” I felt my heart swell with the only happiness i've ever known. I smiled sadly at him,

“Im not right for you.” I brought his knuckles to my lips and kissed them gently. He clenched his jaw and i put my hands on his hips. I started to slowly thrust into him again, just slowly rocking my body into his own. He gripped my shoulders and dug his nails into my skin. I reveled in the pain and smiled at him. Tears streamed down his face as he continuously opened his mouth to moan,

“ I hate you,” I smiled at him and kissed his chest,

“I don't,” The pooling of heat in my gut grew stronger this time, sweat rolled down my back and Eren’s moan’s grew in volume. I picked up the pace and bit my lip to stifle the words that wanted to leave my mouth. I love you god i love you so much Eren. I continued to bite my lip to stifle my own groans of pleasure as I thrusted into him. He put his hand on my lip to release it from my teeth. I smiled at him,

“You feel me Eren? You feel my cock in you? You feel me thrusting in and out of your greedy hole? This is mine, all mine. When you’re fucking your husband on your wedding night, know that i'm the only one who can make you like this, think of me as he pounds into you, think of me as you call out his name. Call out mine instead, ”Eren moaned louder and gritted his teeth at my dirty talk.

“Fuck you’re so tight. You feel fucking amazing. You fit perfectly on my cock like you were made for me,” I thrusted into him harder, the coil in my gut winding up faster than last time. I painted heavily and moaned into his shoulder. He cried out at every thrust. My abs flexed as I continuously rammed myself into him. Then suddenly, in perfect harmony, we came at the same time. I came so hard i almost blacked out, my senses becoming totally numb. I cried out Erens name and he cried out mine as i finished inside of him. He came all over my stomach and  I collapsed on top of him. He held me against him and the cum inbetween us didnt bother me in the slightest.

I held my sweaty forehead against his shoulder as I came down from cloud nine. Our loud breaths filled the small space and i clung to him. If I could have one wish, it’d be to stay in this moment here with him forever. To feel his heart beating wildly against my chest, to hear his satisfied sighs, to see those beautiful shining eyes.

If only it were that easy.

“Lets run away together.” I pulled back to look at him, to see if he was joking but teal eyes held that determination i’ve always loved.I chuckled,

“We can’t Eren,” He looked hurt,

“It’s not hard Levi. We go to europe, take a few things, start over it’d be perfect.” The idea was so tempting. To take him and run away forever. But my conscience came back and reminded me of why I even left in the first place. I was a terrible man that didn’t deserve this angel in front of me. I was willing to move through life in pain like i deserved. But then I met him. I brushed his bangs out of the way and kissed his forehead. A tear slipped out and i gently wiped it away,

“If in 10 years, you still feel the same way, meet me by Cloud Gate on this date at 6 o'clock at night,” He shook his head and hugged me tightly,

“No right now. I want you right now Levi.” I cupped the back of his head and held him to me. I kissed the side of his neck,

“Look, i'll take your stupid deal. But, while we walk downstairs right now if you change your mind then walk up to me.” I nodded even though i knew in my heart i wasn't going to change my mind. I pulled away from him, much to each others dismay, and kissed him gently. I pulled on my shirt and zipped up my pants while he did the same. He looked at his shirt and then to me and I chuckled.

“You have plenty of shirts in this house don't look at me like that.” He rolled his eyes and walked over to me. He swallowed loudly as he kissed me sweetly. The taste of strawberries was long gone and replaced by Erens taste. I loved it. I pulled away and kissed him on his forehead. I walked away from the bathroom and into the hallway sighing. I had my head lowered as i walked down the stairs. I walked around a couple of halls before finding the crowd in the living room.

Petra's eyes immediately found mine and she shook her head disapprovingly. I smiled at her genuine ly.I was truly happy in these few moments, but it faded when i reached into my pocket to pull on my engagement ring once again. I walked over to Erwin and kissed his cheek while he was talking to someone. He smiled at me and reached around to hold my hand.

Even as I held Erwins hand trying to be happy, even as i let the guilt envelop my heart, even though my heart screamed for me to return to him. I couldn't

I glanced at my soulmate who was laughing at something Armin had said. He returned with a blue button up, my favorite one. I smiled at that and chuckled imagining what kind of excuse he came up with for returning with a different shirt. He looked around, searching for something when suddenly his ocean eyes met my own, a pool of sadness could be seen in them. I simply offered a smile and he responded with his own. I saw his eyes fill with tears and I tore my gaze away. I think he knows my answer.

“You ready to go babe?” Erwin smiled at me happily and yanked my hand in his direction. I looked back at Eren, forever embedding the last smile i would ever see of his in my head.

“Yeah i'm ready,” I smirked at Erwin and he smirked back suggestively. I walked to his Chevy Malibu with my hand in his, leaving my heart behind. I looked directly ahead at the crowd dispersing and turned to see Eren giving Mikasa a hug. His fiance came up to him with his hands in his pockets looking apologetic and Eren nodded at something he said.

His fiance smiled at him and Eren smiled back. His fiance grabbed his hand and Eren reluctantly gave in. I rolled my eyes at that. His pride was big, but his heart was even bigger .His fiance suddenly tore away from him to say hi to someone. Eren looked ahead out the window at me, at my soul. His pleading eyes made me yearn for his presence, for his embrace but even then i knew i couldn't be selfish.

I was a selfish. I've always been, i'll always obtain what i want. But Eren…. Eren was a different story. I smiled brightly at my soulmate who simply let a tear roll down his face. Erwin pulled out of the parking lot and I kept my gaze on Eren. Eren looked like he was about to run out the door until Jean came back and pulled him into an embrace. I maintained my gaze on him and he did the same, the sadness contorted his face as he accepted my decision. I finally tore my gaze away when his figure disappeared into the distance.

I let out a heavy sigh and looked ahead, letting the pain grip my heart. Erwin got a sudden call which he took on his bluetooth, not paying too much to me. I sat in the car staring at the moon once again, thinking about a simple poem,

 

_ Missing you one place, search another, I stop somewhere waiting for you. _

for you Eren, I’d wait forever.


	2. You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It was stupid to think he was going to show up. How long has it been, like 10 years?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally uploaded the epilogue! thank yall so much for the support you guys have shown on this story, all the kudos, comments ughh it makes my day! sorry for being super late on this too I'm a master procrastinator.

I clutched my coffee cup in my hand tightly hoping that it would share its warmth in this freezing weather. God, i love Chicago but fuck i can't stand the cold. I walked up to the stairs towards the bean, my heart pumping at least 200 miles per hour. I will never in my life admit that i was scared, i didn't want to look and see that he wasn't there. i wouldn't blame him, it's been what exactly 10 years? I'll admit that i am stupid for thinking that somehow he would be here, who's to say Erwin didn't capture his heart by now? With his stupid Captain America features and his perfect career.

What a jackass

Thank god the park was empty too, it was kinda surprising considering the fact that it was night and a Friday. Then again it is like -4 so. I fixed my blue jacket in hopes of blocking out the air that was blowing against my face. Hell, i couldn't feel my nose or face anymore. I looked over at the bean and admired the lights gleaming off of it. Man, i could stay here forever, even with the freezing air making my face go numb. I wish i could stay, make time freeze forever so i wouldn't have to turn 30 in a couple of months. I wouldn't have to go back to my empty apartment and think about the times he pulled his fingers through my hair, or how he would play checkers with me when i couldn't sleep. Good times that'll never return to my unfortunate dismay. I let a sigh out and leaned over the railing to look at the cars passing by.

Not too many cars maybe like 4 in the past 20 minutes? They were probably going home to their families, to someone who would smile at them and be happy they returned. I smiled at that, what would that be like? Maybe i should've given Jean a second shot. I shook my head of that thought, however the memories i had of our time together cam flushing in. Our engagement, our parties, the numerous fights we had. He was willing to try for me, to figure things out and communicate, i on the other hand just wanted him to let me go. When i saw him id think of someone else. I'm pretty sure that's not supposed to happen when you're supposedly in love with someone. Well, technically i was, just not with Jean. I checked my watch and felt my anxiety increase. _5:50_.

Ten minutes before he was supposed to show up. But what then? i just fall in his arms and we live happily ever after? What the fuck was i even doing here? I let out a deep breath and let my forehead hit the railing. I brought my head up and took a sip of my coffee, that was already cold, how? i don't know i literally bought it like ten minutes ago. I walked around the bean and threw it in the trash. I let my gloved hands slip into my pockets and let myself gaze around the park. It was quiet, too quiet for my taste. The lake was still moving which is surprising because its cold as fuck. I walked around the bean and went underneath to see myself in the mirror, i remember when we took a picture here too. I take what i said back I'm so glad I called off the engagement with Jean, okay like two days before our wedding and yeah Jean was really really mad but hey at least i didn't get married.

Picking myself back up after that whole fiasco was the hardest thing i ever had to. Mikasa and Armin were my only beacons of light in those few years and i will forever be grateful. Hmm maybe i should call them it's been a while, and i fucking miss my little niece. I thought about my favorite memory of her, which was she grabbed the gallon of milk and tried to pour it on her cereal and all of the milk came out. The whole kitchen table was white and i will never forget the look of horror on Mikasa's face. Poor Armin had to clean it up and little Carla got away with it. She's just like her uncle, I'm very proud. This helps me confirm that im so happy i didn't marry Jean because he didn't want kids. Who the fuck doesn't want kids? He also wanted me to completely change my last name and he had the audacity to tell me this four days before we were supposed to get married.

I laughed at that, i couldn't imagine myself being called Eren Kirschtein for the rest of my life. Eren Ackerman has a better ring to it. I stopped those thoughts and banished them from my head. He probably wasn't going to show so what's the point of getting my hopes up? I looked at my phone to see Mikasa had called me twice, I'll probably call her later. The time had changed though, it was 6 and my heart beat so fucking fast I thought it was going to jump out of my chest. Fuck me. I was honestly and thoroughly fucked. Goddamnit just when i thought id be alright if he didn't show up, my stupid heart acts up. Now i need him to show up, i need him to tell me that he was still in love like i was. I need him and it scares the fuck out of me. I wish he never left all those years ago, i understand that his past haunted him and i was stupid and selfish for thinking i could heal those nightmares for him.

I leaned against the bean and let my thoughts drift to my engagement party. God Jean was such a jackass, who even considers bringing up having a threesome at a damn engagement party. He was such a jackass especially when he tried to play it off as a joke, but at least his actions led to the best sex of my life. I could practically relive the way he touched me, kissed my neck and held me like he never wanted to let go. I thought Jean was good for me, but as always i was wrong. When i saw him leave with Erwin i was crushed, i was hoping with all my heart that he would come back to me, that'd we'd leave everything behind and i'd be 100% okay with that.

He certainly left his mark on me, I'll never regret that nor resent him for it. No matter how much it hurt. I let out a breath and watch it turn into a white cloud, man it really was cold. I impatiently checked my watch to read the time, _6:05_. I felt my hope deflate when i looked around and saw literally no one. Okay, Jaeger give him 10 more minutes and that's it. Only 10 minutes. Hell, I'd wait forever but i knew at some point that if he didn't show id have to move on. Id have to force myself to move on from him and that was going to hurt like a bitch but hey maybe i'm wrong. As a doctor, i've lost patients, had to tell their family that'd id done everything for their kid, husband or sister and watch them fall to the floor in despair. id probably react the same to this, but i'd wait til i was in my car.

Hopefully, it wasn't going to come to that. I spaced out for a couple of minutes only to check my watch again, _6:12_. Still not a single soul in the area. I let a single tear slip from my eye and leaned my head against the sculpture. Wow so I was wrong, it hurt MORE than a bitch, how intriguing. I took in deep breaths to get myself together. You can do this Eren, you'll be alright. You watched your mom die, this should be easy peasy. Yeah, i'll just keep repeating that. I walked two steps and scanned the area one more time. A figure in the distance caught my eye. And of course, my stupid heart starting beating harder, dumbass organ.I walked a couple of paces towards them, i, of course, was hidden behind the bean in case he was, in fact, Jeffery Dhamer in disguise. They seemed to stop midway through their walk. What the hell were they doing? they stood there for at least two minutes before turning around and walking the opposite way. i felt myself deflate, it wasn't him. Maybe we weren't meant to be. I cleared my throat to keep the tears at bay as i watched the retreating figure get farther and farther.

For some reason, i wanted to chase the stranger. to know why he was here it didn't matter who he was. I shouldn't really. I turned to go down the stairs but once i reached the railing i realized i didn't want to go back to my empty apartment. i didn't want to have another night drowning my sorrows with whiskey wondering why i didn't chase after him. Regretting even letting him get in the car. No, absolutely not, i wanted him to cook pancakes for me again, i wanted him to cuddle against me when it was cold, i wanted to feel the fire of his fingertips on my skin. Before i knew it i was running. I felt my heart beating wildly in my chest as i raced across the forest until i saw his figure growing closer and closer.

"Hey!" I yelled loudly wondering how i didn't just wake the city of Chicago. He turned around and i crashed into him, knocking both of us onto the floor. He fell on top of me and i let out a grunt. I probably just assaulted some stranger and hurt my arm in the process, not so romantic but hey at least i followed my heart. Should probably stop doing that on second thought. When i opened my eyes i saw molten grey eyes looking into mine and i felt my breath catch in my throat. fuck fuck fuck fuck. oh, those eyes, those eyes that have been haunting me since i last saw them ten years ago.

"Levi?" I spoke softly, not wanting to speak loudly in case he'd float away. He looks the same as he did ten years ago, minus the bags under his eyes. He looked older but he looked like Levi. He didn't answer, simply looking at me like he couldn't believe it was me. He put his hands on either side of my head and I turned to look at his left hand.

No ring.

The relief that flooded through my system startled me. I looked back at his face again and brought my hand up to touch him. He sighed when my hand made contact and i felt so fucking happy. Don't take my happiness away again Levi. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, i let my tears finally flow out. He held me against him and i smiled. It felt like he never left, our connection our bond was still as strong as the day i met him on the corner of a flower shop,  
"You came." He whispered in my ear and i wanted to hit him

"Of course I did you, stupid idiot," He chuckled at that,

"Nice insult," I felt so happy, it felt so right to be in his arms I wouldn't trade this for anything in this whole world.

"I love you," Fuck. Did I really just say that? goddamnit, I got too comfortable now he's probably uncomfortable now he prob-

"I love you too. More than anything." O,h fuck here come the tears again. We stayed in the park for what felt like an hour, despite the cold and numbness of my body, i was truly happy. He finally stood up and i stood with him, finally getting a good look of his face.God, he was still gorgeous, and his silver eyes still held the same fire. i was so in love it was incredible i went so many years without him.

He bit lip as he contemplated something,

"You want to come with me?" I knew what he was asking and i immediately knew my answer.

"Of course, "He smiled at me, a beautiful smile that i somehow had survived without. The wrinkles on his face were now more noticeable in the street light but they accentuated his features perfectly. He was beautiful. I smiled at him and grabbed his hand while he led the way to wherever he wanted to go. We walked in silence until i couldn't help but address something that was on my mind,

"Are you still in love with me?" ok maybe it was a stupid question and i was about to take it back when he suddenly looked at me incredulously. He stopped moving and grabbed the sides of my face. His breath felt warm against myself and i couldn't help but stare at his lips. Fuck me. i licked my lips subconsciously and his eyes immediately darted to them. God, i missed you, more than you'll ever know. He brought his forehead to mine, our breaths mingling together. I was completely entrapped as he brought his lips to mine. When ours lips connected i could swear i felt electricity flow between us.

Our kiss immediately became desperate, i wanted to get closer to him and never let him go again. He pushed me up against a tree as his tongue slid against mine.I moaned at the taste of him, tea and mint, my favorite. He pressed himself against me and it was like i no longer felt cold, i felt fire. I gripped his jacket collar so tightly i thought id tear it off. He gripped my hips roughly and i bit his lip gently. He let out a guttural moan and fuck was I hard. I finally disconnected from him and said,

"Bed. Now" He nodded frantically and we practically ran to his car. I couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it. I felt like i was 19 again, a carefree kid with no worries. He chuckled too and began to run for real this time A challenge? you're so on Ackerman. It was exhilarating running through the cold air knowing that if i won i had something i could use against him. i ignored the weird stares of the passerby's as i was determined to beat him in this game. Fuck for a 34-year-old he could still run faster than a fucking cheetah.

He beat me to his red Mustang and i threw up the finger at him. He rolled his eyes and smirked at me. Fuck he was sexy and i would really love to admire him but i really needed an oxygen machine. Holy shit i really need to hit the gym. i kissed his cheek on my way to the passenger's seat and sat down. Our ride to his hotel was uneventful but i did hold his hand the whole way there. I honestly didn't want to let him go. We got there in record time, Levi parked in the garage and turned off his car. He surprised me when he grabbed my head and kissed me once again.The taste of him was addicting, just like i remembered it. He gently cupped my face and i felt like crying at the sentiment. I separated from him to see his eyes full of lust and adoration. Then it hit me.

He needed this as much as i did. I got out of the car and he followed. He led the way while never letting go of my hand. We made out in the elevator and we never separated. He opened his room and i pushed him inside. I ripped off my shirt and unbuckled his pants.Our heavy pants filled the room and he brought his forehead to mine. He removed his button-up slowly, too slowly for my taste but i knew he loved to tease. He removed his shirt and kissed down my collarbone, then to my chest, stomach and then he reached my pants. I dug my fingers into his hair, a little impatient on what i knew was coming. He kissed my bulge and i straight up moaned. Fuck how does he do this to me? He yanked down my jeans leaving bite marks on my hips, he always had that habit of claiming what was his.

He softly kissed my cock and i almost blew my load, which is something i'll never admit in my life. He took me into his mouth and the various sensations had me moaning like a bitch in heat. Fuck after 5 years of abstinence it felt way too good. I yanked on his hair and he moaned around me. 

"Fuck!" I needed him now. i needed him like i needed air,

"Levi don't want to come like this," I was barely able to pant it out but he obeyed and pulled away. He stood up and yanked me towards him. He kissed me roughly and i happily reciprocated. He pushed me on the bed and quickly climbed on top of me. He pulled off his pants and i took the opportunity to bite his neck. I wanted to leave behind marks to show the world that he was only mine. forever. This time i wouldn't let him leave.I wouldn't let him get into the car and I'd hold on to him forever. I ran my hands down his chest reveling in the shiver that escaped him.

I loved the scars on his body and i began to kiss each one making him sigh. He began to run his own fingers down my chest and to my stomach. His touch was fire on my skin, i fucking loved it. I gently cupped his face and admired him completely. His thin pink lips, his raven bangs hanging down his face, his steel blue silver eyes holding so much love it made me gasp. No one ever looked at me like that. Oh, how i missed you. I ran my hand down his chest and to his cock, slowly stroking him.

He panted into my neck and i kissed the side of his. He let out a disappointed moan,  
"I don't have lube," i can probably guarantee that i became the color of a tomato as i admitted quietly,  
"We don't need it," Levi looked at me confused which unfortunately forced me to elaborate

"I already prepared myself jackass now hurry up." Okay, so i really didn't expect him to show i honestly just had some alone time before i came and great now he's smiling cockily fucking jackass.

"Oh? so you really expected to get fucked into the mattress tonight," I scoffed at that,

"Please Ackerman, i am an independent man that can satisfy his own needs any time, now as much as i enjoy this conversation can you hurry up and fuck me please?" He chuckled at that but obeyed. He gripped my face as he slowly slid into me, maintaining eye contact as i threw my head back in ecstasy.  
Fuck i forgot how big he was. He bottomed out and i dug my nails into his shoulders waiting for my body to adjust. 

"Are you okay?" i nodded

"Yeah just give me a sec."

He kissed my neck and sweet spot and i finally relaxed in his arms. I nodded and he began to slowly rock into me. It felt so good, so right. I felt full and it was the best feeling in the world. I moaned loudly as wrapped myself around him like a Koala. He smelled good, I loved his smell and I had missed it all over my hoodies. He moaned into my neck as he thrust deeper into me, trying to find my prostate. I was trying to squirm in his arms and help him find the right angle. He gave a hard thrust and fuck did he find it. He gripped my hips tightly and began to thrust harder.

"Fuck Levi!" I whimpered into his neck and he panted into mine. He thrust into me, maintaining the same angle and knocking my prostate again and again. I cried out in pleasure. I couldn't help but cry into his neck when reality smacked into me. This was real. I was with him and he was with me. He was making love to me and panting in my ear. I couldn't ask for anything more. He kissed my neck gently as he steadied his pace my release approaching quickly. He suddenly spoke in a raspy voice,

"I can't believe you came." He was crying too now. I whimpered and connected our foreheads together.  
"I'd do anything for you," He kissed me as he rocked against me harder. The pleasure built up until suddenly we came together. I let out one last cry of his name and he called out mine. He collapsed on top of me andIi was breathing heavily attempting to catch my breath. i ran my fingers through his undercut like he had done a billion times to me. He picked his head up to smile at me and I felt my world right itself. He placed his head on my heart and ran his fingers along my stomach. How I had gone this long without his feather-like touches I don't know. I smiled at him and he chuckled,

" You know I almost went to your house like ten times?" I huffed at that,

"Last time I checked, you were the one who left me in a wreck," Levi kissed my chest and opened his mouth to speak but I beat him to it,

" But at least you fixed your mess so that's all that matters," Levi chuckled,

"Yeah that's true," I couldn't help but smile like an idiot. God what this man did to my heart. He pulled himself up and laid next to me, urging me to move into his arms and i happily obeyed. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled the blanket over us.

"I love you," I couldn't help but feel a little insecure when it came to my feelings

"I love you more than anything," His reassurance meant everything to me.

I felt my eyes droop and the drowsiness fade in until I felt his hands in my hair and his whisper against my skin,

"I knew I'd find my way back to you."

**Author's Note:**

> FuCK. Also! let me know in the comments if you'd like an epilogue that zooms to the 10-year promise Levi made! thank you!


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